Jillian Merica's blog

Freewrite: Ed. Research Review

I really don't understand the point of this class. Everyone in teacher corps has a bachelor degree from a reputable university. We learned the differences between different types of research and most of us participated in research. The basics we "learn" in this class are just a waste of time, we already learned them in undergrad. Isn't the point of graduate school to do your own research? Why aren't we actively engaged in research through this course? We have the background to do our own research and we are the perfect resources for educational research: we already work at ground zero, we are classroom teachers. 

Here is what I suggest. Next year, run the class differently. Three hours of bad powerpoint presentation is not effective. Our peanuts sized minds can only handle one hour of bad powerpoint at a time, maximum. So, next year, why don't we have only one hour of powerpoint, then spend the last two hours designing our own research project based on the information presented. Then, we can either decide to run the project in our classroom, collect data during the week, then analyze the data during class, OR, each group could present their research project design and we could discuss which model it fits under and what is good and bad about the project. That sounds a lot more fun, a lot more engaging and a lot more effective than what we are currently doing.

I enjoyed the way the Buck ran class. He talked a little, then let us work through the information in small groups and allows us to share. It was much more effective. After his visit, I could walk away not only knowing terms, but feeling like I could apply those terms and concepts to research (whether it is my personal research or reviewing others' research). On the other hand, although I enjoyed Buck's guest visit, he covered topics we have already "covered" in class. I would have liked to learn something new. I constantly feel that this class is at a stand still and it has nothing more to offer us. Its frustrating because our class is very interested in learning and being academically challenged. It's disappointing to be subjected to three hours of "beating a dead horse" every class meeting. To be blunt (as if I haven't already): class attendance and participation should not be mandatory to this class. I get nothing out of it.

Freewrite: What I'm Thinking About...

First thing: My Involvement at School

I want to run a club or sport or something, but at the same time I don't want to you. The only sport I'm interested in coaching is soccer, which is available at my school, but there's already a coach. I am in charge of a small tutoring program, but I really don't do much for that. I am planning on starting a program called SEED on club days (a club that I was in during high school that focuses on discussion and creating tolerance between all walks of life), but I am nervous how it will be received and whether it will fit within the time parameters. My principal and several teachers were interested in it, but other teachers have given me back lash. I had one teacher telling me how evil islam is to get his point across, when the club hasn't even started yet...the kids don't even know about it yet. Also, we will only have 20 minutes once a month to do clubs, i just don't know if this club will work in that format. I guess I will just have to wait until the first day of the club, see who shows up, and see if they would be willing to meet one day after school.

Second thing: Next Year

There are brief moments when I want to stay next year. Usually it happens in the classroom when I am interacting with students. I love my students and I realize that I will miss interacting with students next year. I will miss teaching. But, regardless of the highs, I know that overall I want to move on. And I will feel selfish leaving it behind, leaving my students, leaving my school, Leaving where I know I can make a difference. I can make a difference elsewhere. I also feel like an idiot working so hard on 3 new preps this year. I am working so hard on things I will never use again. I keep good track of what I do, hoping that someone else can use them. At least the skills I have acquired will definitely be useful in future jobs.  I have no idea where I will be, but I know what I want to do. I will either be working for a parenting counseling program or planned parent hood...just biding my time until I can apply in the spring, enjoying my time that's left and trying to get through this year.

One Failure During My First Year

Oh boy, did I have some failures this year. To pick out just one failure is going to be pretty difficult, especially considering most of my failures are intertwined, but I'll do my best.

I think my biggest failure was classroom management. This isn't necessarily a story, but it certainly is a journey. So come along, follow me through this disgraceful experience. 

The very beginning:

The first month the children were quiet and calm, even through many unexpected occurrences (including holding my first period for the entire day, assemblies announced 5 minutes before they happen, random bell-less days, and late buses), thus I was not nearly strict enough with them. I just assumed what I was doing was fine since they were behaving to my standards. My true fault was that I did many "fun" group activities and didn't set strong classroom procedures...partially because I had no idea what my procedures should be. And thus by second quarter...

The Middle:

In the second month and through the second quarter my students started to move from their sweet-selves and clicked into their calculating sides. They did everything from whisper to knock off the metal coat hooks from the back of the classroom during passing time so they could conspicuously bang the hooks against the metal of the desk creating a difficult to locate clanging noise throughout the lesson. They yelled across the classroom and refused to do work. They talked over me and threw worksheets on the ground. I tried my hardest to stick with Teacher Corp's recommendations for classroom management and the classic lesson line, but it just wasn't working. I stuck with it all through first semester because Teacher Corps said it just took time and consistency for the kids to fall in line. But the truth of the matter is that it just didn't work. Those recommendations were not meant for classes of 30 7th graders or maybe they were just not meant for me and my teaching style. Whatever it was, I needed new soluations and thus started to try new things...which lead to a lot of trial and error...and, of course, failure.

By the third nine weeks my administration had turned on me, for whatever reason. As they did, my students realized that a referral from Ms. Merica meant nothing, and soon the highest consequence I had was "last to leave" and a phone call home (or course this was only for students with working phones). At this same time, a miracle and an epiphany happened. The epiphany came when I was thinking about two things: where Aaron Johnson's successes with classroom management come from and how to solve the antsiness of the kids during the first 15 minutes of class. I realized that everyday Aaron has a "writing section" at the beginning of class. During the writing section, students write 10 minutes in response to a prompt. During that 10 minutes, the kids work silently and individually, giving them the extra time they need to settle down and get their minds in gear for class. I decided to institute something similar, I called it the "short sheet." Everyday, the students did a bell ringer then the short sheet silently for 10 minutes. This had amazing success. This had success because of the afore mention miracle (which will be explained shortly), because it gave me time to discipline, because it got students in the correct mindset for my class, and because we went through all answers in class giving students immediate feedback on their answers. The miracle that happened coincided with this short sheet, whether that is a coincidence or there is a correlation is do not know, but regardless they both helped. The miracle was that multiple students decided they wanted to behave in my class. For whatever reason, they decided it was time. How do I know they decided? Because they flat out told other teachers "I'm going to start doing the right thing in Ms. Merica's class." And so it was, in the third quarter, my classroom got in much better order. (another thing, I took up EVERYTHING the students did in class, whether I had intentions to grade it or not).

The End:

The fourth quarter went pretty much as the 3rd quarter. Although students got tired of the consistency of my short sheet and begged for fun activities, I was too nervous to try anything. I did one day of stations (which they had done before and knew the procedure for) and it did not go smoothly. Thus, I treaded on the fine line of classroom management that I had created through procedure during the 3rd quarter and kept with it. Kids were still disruptive, but  overall things went more smoothly because I had turned into a math teacher (due to instruction from the district) and students were focused so they could pass the state test.

Anyway, that is a very shortened version of my adventures through management failure. What I have learned is that management is not about consequences, but much more about procedure. Find a procedure that not only works for you, but works for your kids and if you ever change it up, warn them at least 3 days in advance. 

One Success During My First Year

As I think about a success story from the school year, I strain to think of a student I affected strongly enough to be blog worthy. I wish I had one student that I helped completely turn around. A student who's academic abilities were significantly enhanced due to my efforts. A student who's attitude changed for the better. A student who, years from now, will be thankful they had me as a teacher. Unfortunately, I do not have a story like that. I cannot recount an inspiring story, and I can't look into the minds of my students to know who appreciated things I did. And I can't look into the future to see who will realize, with the maturity of age, the value of what they learned in my class and how hard I worked to help them learn. I can, however, recount small instances of success.

Over the school year:

Many students trusted me: they sought me out when they had personal problems and shared gossip, tragedies and personal concerns with me.

Students learned (and remembered!!!) new science concepts that had not previously been taught to them. On my end of the year survey multiple students listed, under the question "list 3 new things you learned this year," waves and the scientific method. Both concepts that we covered in september! I was so excited that students learned and responded to those concepts because I worked very hard on those units.

Students who regularly attended my tutoring sessions improved their grades by at least 15%. My time after school was successfully spent improving students' ability.

My classroom management improved. I discovered a system that worked for me and the kids that was based on positive self motivation opposed to rewards vs consequences. (The daily procedure was: 1) Bell Ringer (5 min)  2) "Short Sheet" building students' confidence by reviewing yesterday's concepts or introducing them to simple aspects of today's concepts (10 min)   3) Answers to short sheet/collect (5 min)   4) Direct instruction of new material (5 min)    5) Independent practice/self exploration of new concepts (20 min)    6) Closure/prepare for leaving class (5 min) 

So maybe this blog is not really about a success story, but more about the areas in which I've improved or felt like a positive part of my students' lives. After my first year, that's good enough for me. I've learned, I've grown and I've helped some students to do the same in ways that I cannot measure and may never know. 

"Southern Schools Mark Two Majorities" Reaction

For me, this sentence pretty much sums up the difficulties of teaching in a high poverty area: “An affluent 5-year-old has about the same vocabulary as an adult living in poverty.”

Children going up in affluent environments, which in this conversation includes lower middle class, are exposed to more starting day 1. In general, their curiosity is constantly sparked by their peers and those around them, and the idea of knowing more, or being smarter, is desirable to the point that children reach for it. In the communities in which we teach, education and curiosity aren't inspired outside of the classroom. Many parents want their children to have an education, but they don't know what that really means. They don't understand that having an education means using a base of knowledge to be able to analyze and think out of the box...In fact, I'm not quite sure what they think education is. Those that show up at parent conferences are adamant about education, but rarely get more descriptive. At least they think it has something to do with reading...

It seems to me the only way to combat these difficulties is to have year-around school with a school day that lasts from 8am to 5pm. However incredibly undesirable this sounds, especially to someone like me who is getting through the year because we have a long summer vacation, it is the only way to combat what happens outside of school. Students need to be immersed in an environment of curiosity and positive adult influence, kind of like how you need be immersed in a language to fully understand it. These 8am to 5pm schools have 2 hour breaks in the middle of the school day where students are involved in sports, or clubs, or other enrichment activities. All things that my students are desperately in need of, because unlike where I grew up, their parents do not take them to art classes  on the weekends or sign them up for "Rec & Ed" sports (if programs like that even exist here). Additionally, the year around set up of 5 weeks of class then two weeks of vacation, would give teachers the continual breaks they need from the intense environment of the school and give them time to fulfill the intense planning and bureaucratic needs of a low performing school district. So, although I cringe to admit it, the only way it seems to me (at this time) to improve the performance of kids in poverty, is to make school year around, and the school day longer so it includes extracurricular activities.

"What Makes a Great Teacher?" Reaction

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/201001/good-teaching

First off, this article was far too long. Get to the point, quick waltzing around it. It was also too fluffy and optimistic for me. (And I'm generally an optimistic person.)

Here are my problems with the article:

I think the article says more than it realizes when it mentions Mr. Taylor, one of the Teach For America's teachers the article focuses upon:

**Mr. Taylor wants to become a principal. In just three years as a teacher, he feels that he has already run up against the limits of his classroom. He wants to bring what he has learned to scale. That way, he says, “it won’t just stay with me, bundled in Room 204.” He is, like many great teachers, well aware that he is not one in a million—or at least, that he should not be.**

Teachers can take a large part of the blow for students' performance, but teachers can't perform without supportive and intelligent administrators. (I'm leaving this blog public, so I'll leave it at that. Read between the lines.)

They described the teacher walking around in the classroom with a Bluetooth headset on. Poor choice for creating a competent. Anyone who is not a secretary that walks around with a bluetooth on at work is automatically a tool.

The article says "If some kids get it wrong, they have not embarrassed themselves by individually raising their hand and announcing their mistake." ---really? The article treats that as if it is a simple feat and as a false generalization. No matter what situation, certain students are not comfortable "announcing their mistake."

Most importantly, this article only focuses on math. What about other subjects? How have success rates changed based on teachers in other subjects. The article mentions english a few times, but only to say you can't the results aren't as dynamic as math. This makes me conclude, that maybe teaching math is more teacher dependent than other subjects. To be a good reader, you must be reading at home. There is simply not enough time in the school day to improve you the amount you need. Parents and homelife do make a difference, although the article tries to sway its readers to believe otherwise.

It also states "I try, but I can’t find a child who isn’t talking about math." ---really?? He must have seen an extraordinary day in that classroom. Even the best teachers I've ever had did not have 100% participation and focus of students, its human nature, you're going to get off task at least once in a period...especially if you're in 4th grade. And I'd just like to add, not matter how good your lesson or presentation or energy is, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink. I think the writer exagerated a bit.

Another statement I found unbelievable, his policy of putting your head down if you don't feel up to participating and he said,“I’ve never had anybody put their head down,” he says, matter-of-factly. “In three years?” I ask. “No.” --he's not teaching where we are, or maybe it has to do with the age we are...I have students everyday come in tired from dealing with problems at home, taking care of siblings, or upset about serious and troubling events. I have students every day that need to put their head down so they don't cuss someone out or hit someone.

Another bad idea for unprepared districts: "The rest will be based largely on five observation sessions conducted throughout the year by their principal, assistant principal, and a group of master educators. Throughout the year, teachers will receive customized training. At year’s end, teachers who score below a certain threshold could be fired. --Administrators!! Ahhh!! They are not always the best evaluators. Enough said, this blog is public. The article continues with "If state and local school officials, along with teachers unions, step up to the challenge, Race to the Top could begin to rationalize America’s schools." What teacher's union? Enough said.

Good points that the article brings up about effective teachers:

-they present information using many methods so students can think about it many different ways

-they constantly assess and adjust their instruction based on their assessment

-they create strong procedures so no class time is wasted and the kids know what's coming

-they connect with parents and the community about good and bad things, even when the parents aren't making the effort to connect with them

“I found that the kids were not hard. It was explaining the information to them that was hard. You paint this picture in your head about how you will teach this lesson, and you can teach the whole lesson and no one gets it.”

And to answer your question Ben:

MTC should choose teachers based on if they majored in the subject, went to selective colleges, and showed an improving GPA throughout college...according to the article. That sounds fair enough to me. You've got to make a choice somehow, just don't discount the wild card that may not fit that criteria, but have the drive.

Why should you and shouldn't you join the Mississippi Teacher Corps?

Well, I'm usually the short and sweet type when writing, but since I have to write 400 words (x2 blogs), excuse me if I become repetitive.

This job sucks. Frequently. You'll get advice that all you can do is control your classroom. So you set up rules, you set up consequences, and you figure you'll get through. But no matter how organized and stern you are, the circumstances surrounding (and within) your school may cause you to cross bridges you never thought you'd cross. And I'm not talking about the intimidating bridges you were too afraid to approach, I'm talking about the bridges you already walked by and thought "How could anyone ever think that bridge was an effective and appropriate way to cross those raging rapids?"

I am certainly not the rolemodel I had hoped to be. I am constantly frustrated with the lack of structural support (to put it lightly) and end up using displinary actions and retorts that I would never use in another situation. I yell and make borderline comments to my students more often than I would like to admit. I am used and abused by my students and administration. I am convinced I could be doing a better job.

But then there are the small moments of hope. One day after school I was talking to a fellow teacher about how defeated I felt. The lack of disciplinary action at my school was turning me into a complete asshole to my students. I had no other way of creating order within my classroom. I said, "At this point, I doubt I'm doing anything positive." 

At the same moment, two students poked their heads into my classroom and smiled, "Hey, Ms. Merica!!" 

My colleague said, "You seem to be making a positive impact on those girls." 

I had been focusing on the kids I couldn't reach, on any harsh word I had spoken towards my students. I had overlooked my impact on the two girls who helped me in my classroom everyday after school, convinced they would be good kids whether I was here or not. 

I thanked my colleague for redirecting my perspective, but didn't think too deeply on the conversation until later that night. I started to think about the starfish story framed in my aunts bathroom; what was once a nice, short read for a relaxing moment on the jon turned into my teaching philosophy. If I keep throwing starfish into the ocean, it doesn't matter whether they are good, bad, or special ed starfish, because they wouldn't have made it to the ocean without that toss.

I have to let these small positives tosses outweigh the negative punches. But I guess those tosses aren't so small, because like the child on the beach says, they're huge to that one child. So, if there's any reason to join the Mississippi Teacher Corps, it's that the Teacher Corps allows you to throw starfish back into the ocean. One at a time.

The Starfish Story
Original Story by: Loren Eisley

 

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed 
a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. 

Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?”

The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean.  
The surf is up and the tide is going out.  If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”

“Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish?  
You can’t make a  difference!”

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, 
and threw it back into the surf.  Then, smiling at the  man, he said…”
I made a difference for that one.”

The culminating questions: Do I regret it? If I had to do it all over again, would I have chosen a different job opportunity?

Answer: I do not regret and would never trade my experience in Mississippi. I have learned a lot about myself, my peers, employment and education. If I want to live in a better America, education is where it starts, and as twisted and frustrating as the situation is, it is a situation I need to know and experience.

In summary:

How I have been changed? I'll never take teachers for granted.

Reasons to join:        - one starfish makes a difference

                                  - increase your strength of character

                                  - broaden your knowledge of American culture/experience a different (and wonderful) region of                                                                                                       

                                           the United States

                                  - meet a group of amazing and good hearted people-- that know how to have a good time

                                  - discover how hard it is to be a teacher and how important they are to our youth -- as a parent                                                                                                       

                                           you'll never take your child's teachers for granted!

                                  - get a masters and free computer

Reasons not to join:   - you'll be used and abused

                                  - constant feeling of failure and sometimes isolation

                                  - trying to solve a huge problem with too short of time and very few resources

                                  - rural life is slow and sometimes groceries are an hour drive away

                                  - teaching in these districts is SO MUCH WORK!!!

Self-Evaluation #1 - Lesson Given 6/24/09

I ended up watching my video twice: once without sound while it was loading onto my computer, and once with sound a few days later.

Watching the video without sound turned out to be much more helpful than watching it with sound. As a speaker I have a good pace and clearly explain concepts and terms, but I can talk too much. (For some reason, I think notes should take a long time and should need explaining, but usually they don’t. If a concept is simple, I need to be brief, let students copy it down and move on.) Without sound, I saw the importance of my body language. My voice is strong when I teach, which, to me, can disguise any other unconfident aspects of teaching. While only being able to watch my body movements, posture, and positioning in the classroom, I noticed that: 1) I keep my head down a lot, 2) I awkwardly pace instead of deliberately moving around the room  3) I stand above students when answering questions making me look overbearing, and 4) I touch my face and bite lips way too frequently. I seem unsure, and that definitely needs to change before the fall.

I need to move deliberately within the classroom, squat when I’m answering students’ questions during independent work, be more concise during my set and notes, give more clear directions before starting any activity (even notes), follow through when I tell a student to do something and stop touching my face and biting my lips!!...and I need to get a powerpoint remote…

But, it wasn’t all bad, I did notice some good things: I didn’t say “um” and I stayed calm when the technology wasn’t working properly. I’m doin’ all right…